A League of Extraordinary Dipshits

I have been thinking about passive-aggressive people today. I also have been thinking how they totally deserve a hard punch in the fucking mouth. Of course, that's just me being all, you know, aggressive-aggressive I guess. Anyhow, I had this really interesting (read: fucking retarded) conversation with someone who asked me what I did for a living. There is nothing wrong with this question per se. And just to keep everyone up to speed: I am a crack-whore. Now that I have gotten that issue out of the way, I want to address the question that was asked. As i have stated, there is nothing wrong with the question. Except that it opens a floodgate of needless cruelty. I responded by saying that I was a returning student (to keep my crack addiction under wraps). The PA agent pushes the interrogation along and asks what exactly is my field of study. Now, I won't exactly reveal what that is, except to say, that it is something that inhabits inside the academic realm and rhymes with SCHMIBERAL FARTS. This is where it gets so delightfully obscene. 'Well, what kind of job are you expecting to get with that?' the PA asked. Gah. I gotsta say that under no circumstance is that ever an appropriate question to ask. Ever. Just look at the question. Repeat it to yourself. It's a fucking terrible question! And if you ask it, it's because you're a drippy douchebag who has a neck-stabbing booked sometime in the near-future. Cos clearly, you deserve it.

I think I met a whole platoon of these fuckers who really felt they were on a roll in a single weekend. Here are my top 3:

1. The Eyeroller - I hafta say: I love this kind of fucker. Sorry. Let me be a little more succinct. I WOULD love this kind of fucker TO BE BURNED TO DEATH IN FRONT OF HIS/HER MOTHER. I met this individual once before, and upon meeting with him again, I had remarked that he had cut his hair and looked good. He responded by ROLLING HIS FUCKING EYES and stating that hair has a tendency to grow. Is that right, Mr. Wizard? Hair GROWS! Guess what? So does my homicidal rage, ya worthless bag o' shit.
2. The Chuckler - They laugh at something you think is funny. But, it isn't one of those REAL laughs, you dig? It's the over-the-top breathy ahHAhaa type of laugh. I hate those. Cos it's needless. And mortifying. You know? Just. Fucking. Bad. Worthy of a swift kick in the head.
   
3. The Smirker - Which describes the person in the introduction. Muh. They ask questions that seem genuine, but can't help giving away the fact that they are TOTALLY fucking mocking you. I would have more respect for them if they would just come out right and say it. Just tell you that you blow, and your current choice of employment is an indication of that very painful fact. But they don't. Instead, they feign hostile delight. They need to have their brakes cut. And their cars dumped off a cliff. Pronto.

People ought to knock this shit off. If you don't have the fucking balls to just say 'fuck off' or any other diplomatic statements to that effect, then fucking suffer. After all, I hardly think it is at all fair that I cannot legally stab you in response.