Bra-ha-ha

I went shopping for undergarments today. Ooofah. Nothing like having one's body parts be subjected to a severe public indictment in the course of several hours as a part of a fun-filled weekend. After being trapped in the bra labyrinth at Sears, it became clear that my tits are mishapen. Not just a slight difference. It appears that one is boob is larger than the other. And to be quite honest, they look like a dumb pairing. Between Frankenboob, Mini-boob and Calvin Klein posters of preening vixens, I couldn't help but feel like total shit. After a couple of hours - depleted of oxygen and dehydrated - you start entertaining various thoughts, ranging from drastic body modifications to selecting narcotics that are best suited in shielding you from the glaring harsh lights of reality. By the way, I suggest Ativan. On an hourly basis, mind you.