Some Hinterland's Who's Who Shit #2

I have been given the opportunity to roll around Japan - land of quality adverts and oddballs - doing some crap and seeing some shit. I will occasionally drop a post or two when possible. Or not.

Holy Christ. I just saw the most fucking hideous turtle! EVER! Incidentally, turtles are my favourite animals. They are, like, the outcast loners and shut-ins of the animal kingdom. Just like me. And slow. Just like me. Anyhow, they normally have beak like mouths. But this ugly sucker has a porcine snout and a mouth that - when opening -has a suction cup effect. NOT AT ALL like me. They have this unusually long and powerful neck that, I shit you not, allows them to flip around should they happen to find themselves on their backs. As you can see from the EXCESSIVELY manicured photo on the right, they have webbed feet with deceptively agile fingers, or whatever the fuck those things are. I'm sure they could probably wield a knife, if pressed. Yugh. My skin totally crawled. They also made me feel a little gaggy. Kind of makes you question the rounded effects of the Hiromshima/Nagasaki bombings. In addition, they are totally hostile and start crunking when faced with an opponent, be it an animal or a leaf. Then again, I would be pretty cranky if I had live out my entire existence looking like an uncircumcised penis attached to a slimy discman.